Today my pain is hidden…

But you can see it in the clouds
It comes upon the thunder
You can hear it in the rain
You can smell it in the aftermath
Of my slowly rotting brain

Nature can deceive you
The weather wraps it tight
But it sits on my face plainly
You can always see it plainly
On a clear and moonlit night

You can touch it when you struggle
With the dampness of the fog
When you gasp for air
You know its there
Sifting through the smog

You can see it in the rainbow
That never touches ground
In the failure
Of the struggle
To remain safe and sound

You can hear it in my soft goodbye
You can smell it in my hair
The pain that’s all around me
In me,
Up and down me

Well you can always see it plainly
It sits on my face plainly
If you look
You’ll see it plainly
On a clear and moonlit night

March 13^th, 1994

Actually one of my favorite poems I’ve written.  People who have struggled with abuse, domestic violence and depression are often master’s of hiding their true self.  And yet, if you are willing to put aside your fears and really look at a person in the eyes you will almost always see what lies behind.  The challenge comes when you are faced with having to really listen to what they have to say.  I rarely found anyone up for that challenge when I was younger, luckily I have amazing friends and a husband who always have my back today.

Julia Ann Ferguson

Tags: deep sadness, depression, domestic violence, emotional pain, truth